So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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