she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
