You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
