he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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