Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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