I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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