Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
