Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
its not stalking. its research.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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