No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Randomize
