so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
