don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
