SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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