I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
