people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
