is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
