just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
