so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
