how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
