love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
