dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
