She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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