bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
