I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
