if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
