Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
