this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i out mim tonsoeep
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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