it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize