So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
