I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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