Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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