She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
