She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
