He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize