Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
