nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize