Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
and she was petting her beer can
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
