I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
