Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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