Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
