i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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