I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
