..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
