You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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