What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
