I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
