I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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