I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Randomize
