Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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