Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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