I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
