Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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