is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
