what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
