Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
