i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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