i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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