Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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