It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
