Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
what day is it and did you see me today?
There r osticjed everywhere
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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