Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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