thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
