We're facebook friends in real life
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She needs sedatives and a leash
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
