Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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